Raising our Sons With or Without Fathers
According to the US Census Bureau, of 24 million American children , 1 out of every 3 live in a home where there is no biological father present. In a study examining father involvement with 134 children of adolescent mothers over the first 10 years of life, researchers found that father-child contact was associated with better socio-emotional and academic functioning. The results indicated that children with more involved fathers experienced fewer behavioral problems and scored higher on reading achievement.
Are we saying that it is always better to have a man in the house no matter what? Of course not! We would, however, offer some solutions as to how families without a positive male role model in the home might meet the needs of young males as they attempt to identify who they are and what society expects from them.
✓ Keep him actively involved in school activities. There are science clubs, sports clubs and other activities that might peak his interest. Find out what they are. If cost is a factor, look into scholarship programs and schools that provide scholarships. While not always advertised many organizations, such as your local YMCA offer scholarships.
✓ Does he like to build things? Focus on toys such as erector sets and model cars and trucks. You may have an engineer in the making.
✓ Mentorship Programs – How can he grow into adolescence or manhood without having some idea of what being a young man means or how to act or react to circumstances that are singularly related to the male population. There are many mentorship programs that can provide positive guidance to young men throughout the different stages of their development.
✓ Time spent with positive males within the family structure. If a young man sees other male members of the family in responsible positions (i.e., hard workers, care-givers, community service, treatment of others) he is likely to want to reflect those core values.
An excellent resource for guidance and information on program is The National Fatherhood Initiative. Contact information www.fatherhood.org phone: 301-948-0599 fax: 301.948.6776 Main: 301-948-4325
Source: Howard K.S., Burke Lefever, J.E., Borkowski, J.G., & Whitman, T.L. (2006). Fathers Influence the Lives of Children with Adolescent Mothers., Journal of Family Psychology. Source: National Fatherhood Initiative. www.fatherhood.org.
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